New Requirement for Summer Possession Notice

For all standard possession orders entered after September 1, 2019, a new requirement has been added for notice.

As normal, the non-managing conservator under the standard possession order will have a period of extended summer possession (30-42 days).  The managing conservator can request a period during that extended time when they can visit with the child.  However, the managing conservator must pick up the child(ren) from the possessory conservator and return the child to the possessory conservator.

Now under the new notice requirement of HB 553, the possessory conservator must now also give the managing conservator 15 days written notice of where they can pick up the child.  The new law says:

"153.312(C) Parents Who Reside 100 Miles or Less Apart-
(c) Notwithstanding Section 153.316, after receiving notice from the managing conservator under Subsection (b)(3) of this section designating the summer weekend during with the managing conservator is to have possession of the child, the possessory conservator, not later than the 15th day before the Friday that begins that designated weekend, must give the managing conservator written notice of the location at which the managing conservator is to pick up and return the child."

So for example, John and Mary are the parent of Joseph.  They live less than 100 miles apart. Mary is the "managing conservator" because Joseph lives primarily with her and John is the "possessory conservator" because he has regular visits with Joseph.  They have a standard possession order for visits which means that in addition to his weekend visits and certain holidays, John has a 30 day period during the summer break when Joseph will be with him.  Normally this will be the month of July (unless John picks a different 30 days and sends written notice to Mary by April 1).

Thirty consecutive days without seeing a parent is considered a long time by some and may be difficult for the child to go that long.  So under the Standard Possession Order, if Mary gives John written notice by April 15, she can pick up Joseph for one weekend- HOWEVER, it is SHE who must pick up AND drop off from John- not necessarily at his house, but where ever he happens to be.  What this means is that if Mary wants her summer weekend, she must be willing to travel wherever John is with Joseph over the summer to pick up Joseph  on Friday and drop off him off again on Sunday at that same location .  What if John and Joseph are on a camping trip at Yosimite?  Yup, that means Mary must pick up Joseph at Yosimite and return him to Yosimite if she wants her weekend visit.

Apparently there has been a change in the law to attempt to fix a problems that comes up with this.  What if John refuses to tell Mary where he will be during his 30 days with Joseph?  Former he was not required to.  If he doesn't however, that effectively prevents Mary from exercising her right to a weekend visit.  With this new law, the Texas Legislature has plugged this gap in the SPO order by adding a requirement of John that if Mary sends him timely written notice that she wants a weekend during John's extended summer visit with Joseph, then John must now give Mary 15 days written notice prior to Mary's weekend of where he intends to be with Joseph during that weekend.  This will allow Mary to make arrangements to pick up Joseph for her weekend.

I think the requirement is necessary to protect the managing conservator's right , but I also see how it puts a burden on the possessory conservator.  What if John and Joseph are just traveling in an RV and don't have a set agenda, and want to visit a different city than originally planned, or are delayed from arriving at a certain place due to weather or other event out of their control, or what if John just changes his mind about the trip?

Again, this new notice requirement applies only to orders rendered after September 1, 2019.  People with orders prior to that do not have the added notice requirement.

The Palmer Law Firm practices exclusively in the area of Family Law litigation in Harris and Galveston Counties, Texas.  If you have any questions about your possession order, or other issues regarding your legal rights and duties to minor children, in Harris or Galveston counties, Texas, please visit our website at www.thepalmerlawfirm.com or call us at 832-819-3529.

"We Can't Protect Your Heart, But We CAN Protect Your Rights."- THE PALMER LAW FIRM

Top Three Parent-Child Reunification Programs After Alienation

I am often called upon to fight for parents who have been alienated from the natural affections of their children by the other parent.  However, achieving court orders designed to end devastating patterns of parental alienation are only the beginning.  Although establishing or enforcing the right to access and possession of the children, to orders of counseling, and injunctions against a parent’s alienating behavior are necessary, they are not sufficient to getting the children and the alienated parent to interact in healthy, normal ways.  The psychological healing that must take place after the gavel falls is where the real hard work lies.  An attorney who deals in high conflict cases must understand and appreciate that they need to work in partnership with mental health professionals to completely resolve their client’s problems.  And in this sensitive area, the mental health prover must be have specialized expertise in parental alienation reunification.

Mental health professionals should be screened carefully.  The client should familiarize themselves with the professionals understanding of the various parental alienation treatment models that have developed over the last several years.  Here then, are three of the most prevalent family reunification intervention models:

1.       Warshak’s Family Bridges Model.

Perhaps the best- known of the emerging models, this program is an educative and experiential program focusing on multiple goals:  allowing the child to have a healthy relationship with both parents, removing the child from parental conflict, and encouraging child autonomy, multiple perspective-taking, and critical thinking.[1]

2.      Sullivan’s Overcoming Barriers Family Camp

This model combines psycho-educational and clinical intervention with an environment of milieu therapy.  It is aimed toward the development of an agreement regarding the sharing of parenting time, and a written aftercare planning.  It is this author’s opinion that this model is best utilized if a custody lawsuit is still pending, such as if temporary but not final orders are in place.  Because it’s need for both parents to be cooperative with making agreements, this model will not work well if the communication skills of the parents are below a certain minimum.[2]

3.      Friedlander and Walters’ Multimodal Family Intervention

The flexibility and adaptability of this model makes it a good choice for families in radical transition such as those who are currently involved with high conflict litigation.  This model provides differential interventions for situations of parental alignment, alienation, enmeshment and estrangement.[3]

Children and parents who have undergone forced separation are highly subject to post-traumatic distress and mental health professionals are absolutely essential to resuming a healthy relationship.  Research has shown that many alienated children can transform quickly from resisting the rejected parent to being able to receive and show love for that parent.  But to achieve that goal, the high conflict family law attorney and the alienated client must be clear on their goals during and after the custody case.  They must work together to select a mental health provider who not only has specialized expertise in parental alienation reunification, but offers a therapy model that is best suited to the individual needs of each family.

If you have any questions about your high conflict family law case, including parental alienation and family reunification issues, please visit us at www.thepalmerlawfirm.com. 

---

[1] Baker, A. (2010).  “Adult recall of parental alienation in a community sample: Prevelance and association with psychological maltreatment.” Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, 51, 16-35.

[2] Sullivan, M.J. Et al (2010). “Overcoming Barriers Family Camp.” Family Court Review, 48 (1), 116-135.

[3] Friedlander, S. & Walters, M.G. (2010). “When a child rejects a parent: Tailoring the intervention to fit the problem.” Family Court Review, 48 (1), 98-111.

Top Ten Ways To Be A Great Example To Your Children

Whether you are a parent contemplating a divorce, a parent involved in an ongoing custody dispute, or a parent struggling to be cope after a divorce, one thing remains unchanged- you are the parent of a child who, now more than ever, needs you to be a source of strength and stability.  
Parents are role models to their children at all times- even when you think your kids aren't looking (maybe even ESPECIALLY when you think they aren't looking!)  And if you involved in a Texas custody dispute, then there are many OTHERS who are also evaluating your ability to be a role model to your child or children.  Those who are carefully watching you can including your ex-spouse, his or her lawyer, attorney ad-litems, child protective services, grandparents, grandparents attorneys, custody evaluators, parent coordinators, mediators..and of course (and ultimately) the judge in your case.
The best way to appear to be the best parent you can be..is to ACTUALLY be the best parent you can be.  You need to be an excellent example to your children because they learn by example.  Aside from your legal case, you owe this to you children.

Here then are the top ten ways to be a great example to your children.

1. Live a Healthy Lifestyle

How can you say your are keeping your children healthy when your cupboards are filled with junk food and cookies, you watch T.V. for hours on end?  By eating properly and getting regular exercise, it not only sets and example for our children but gives you the energy to play with them and be involved with their busy schedule.  If you live a sedentary lifestyle, chances are your children will too.  Childhood obesity has become an epidemic in American society which can lead to depression and disease. Be a healthy example for your kids by living a healthy lifestyle.

2. Improve Yourself Constantly

There is always something new in life and you need to be an example to your children to be a lifelong learner.  You should always be looking to improve your "game" because your children will adopt that attitude too.  Learn a new skill.  Try a new activity.  Explore whatever is exotic. Not only will you be a good example of a well lived life for your children, your own life will improve and will make you a happier parent.

3. Give Back To The Community

By going out and helping in the community, you will give your child a deeper sense of responsibility for, and attachment to a home and place.  This is especially important if your are experiencing a time of upheaval in your family.  One of children's greatest fears during divorce is that they will loose their place in the world.  By making it a regular habit to get out in your community with your family and volunteer your time and talents your child will know they belong. 

4. Open Up To Your Kids

You should NEVER share the details of your divorce with your children, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't let your children know who you really are.  Children are looking to you give them the model of how to behave in society.  And they will learn not only when you show them how you have successfully navigated life, but they also learn if you open up and show them how you overcame those times when you fell short of societies expectations.  Do not hide who you are as a person to your children. Being strong means showing vulnerability.  I am not saying you should talk about your divorce in detail or use your children as your own emotional crutch.  But you can share your past experiences when it is appropriate: mistakes and victories. Take your children to work with you and let them see your daily life. Let them see how you interact with other adults and how you carry yourself. 

5. Maintain Self-Control

If you are involved in a legal battle, you will be stressed as never before.  Releasing your emotions, whatever they may be, is healthy and will reduce stress. However NEVER do that in front of your children.  If you allow yourself to loose your cool in front of your kids, it will damage them psychologically, will damage your relationship with them, and may very well damage your law suit.  Every healthy adult should have enough self-control to not regularly blow up in front of their children.  If you can't- then you need to seek out help such as a counselor or therapist. 

6. Right Relationships

We have many important relationships and not all of them are going to be pleasant. Maybe there are issues with your parents, stepparents, brothers, sisters, or ex-wife. Forgive and give grace. Seek to be right in your relationships over being right. Make it as hard as possible for anyone to say anything bad about you. Be an initiator and take always personal responsibility first.

7. Respect and Listening

If you want to teach your kids how to be confident, it starts with showing them respect for who they are and listening to their own unique thoughts. This is a tough aspect of leadership, but the best leaders listen carefully and talk far less. Open your mind and your ears to what your children are telling you. They will, in turn, learn to do the same later in life.

8. Positive Attitude

There is plenty of negativity to be found in society today. Do not add to the daily chorus your child experiences. Instead, display a positive and reassuring attitude and optimism. They need to be able to look at you and know that you are a believer and not a cynic.

9. Goal Setting
Setting goals is important to give us a benchmark of where we are going and the progress we are making. Implementing and achieving those goals are of equal importance. When our kids see us moving along exactly according to plan, it shows them the importance of organization and self-discipline in their daily life. Help them come up with their own set of goals and praise them when the goals are met.

10. Walk the Talk
The single most important aspect of being your children’s role model is to always say what you mean and mean what you say. Walk the talk. Back up your words with visible and concrete action and be a man of integrity and value. Actions speak volumes. “Well done is better than well said.” – Benjamin Franklin

What Should I Think About Before Relocating With Children

If you are current engaged in divorce, are thinking about a divorce, or are post divorce, you may have thought about moving your children to another city, state or even country.

Although the idea of a fresh start in a new place may sound appealing, it may not be as easy as you think especially if 

children are involved.

Before you rush into any decision, here are three tips to consider before you start packing:

1.  Is this move really in the children's best interest?

When you relocating your children, you are moving them away from the other parent.  That may sound like a good idea, but for your children this may be a devastating move.  As Texas courts do, you must also think about what is in the best interest of the children before you make any moves.  If your ex-spouse has possession time with the children, chances are that your decree has a geographic restriction on the residency of the child.  it will not be easy to convince the courts to lift those restrictions and allow you to move away unless you have a very compelling reason.  Remember also that you will be moving your children from both family and friends and they will have much more limited access to that support system.   If you have to litigate this matter, it may be a long time before you get a ruling from the Court, so timing of your move is also a critical consideration.  If your children are old enough, you should open a dialogue with them very 

early on so you can access their wishes on whether they want to move at all.

2.  Develop a plan.

Have you thought everything through?  What school will your children attend?  Is that school as good or better than the 

 one they are leaving?  Who is going to take care of the children when you cant?  Do you have family or friends nearby?  Many parents consider relocating for work.  Is your job definite or a "maybe"?  Is the new job really a better opportunity?  The court will be asking these and many more hard question.  You better have a good answer and a solid plan.

3.  Talk with the other parent

Communicate with the other parent about your proposed move.  Who knows?  You may be shocked to find they are 

willing to cooperate with the move.  That's the best scenario and would save you considerable litigation costs.  By 

communicating you can together develop an appropriate parenting plan and visitation schedule.  Communication can also promote creative solutions such as virtual visitation through Skype or Face-time.  Open communication and assurance that you are not trying to cut the other parent out of the children's life will make deciding details such as travel 

expenses for visitation and other issues much easier and without expensive litigation.  

There are just a few of the important considerations you have to take into account if you are thinking of relocating your children.  You should talk with an experienced family lawyer about all the factors that the court will take into account.  

Ultimately, relocation with children should not be an impulsive decision, but rather one that is well thought out  and planned appropriately.    

The Perception of Bias in Family Courts

The Texas Family Code says that in seeking custody of children and rights of a parent, there should be no bias by the judge based on the sex of the party, or of the child. (Sec. 153.003).  That is, the old idea that children should be with their mother in all cases is no longer used in courts.

But what is the law and what is really in the minds of family judges are sometimes two different things.  Fathers who have fought for custody and won still believe that the cards were stacked against them.  One father who won custody still had this to say:

"The courts are heavily biased.  They made me feel ashamed to ask for custody.  Laws seem equitable but are not practiced by older judges as they should be.  They stereotype a lot.  To get custody you have to head and shoulders above your wife.  Fathers don't seem to get custody when the wife is seen as competent."

Fathers complain that they have to spend thousands to protect what is theirs and mothers usually have the upper hand.  It is many fathers' perception that the courts are biased against because of their gender and are at the mercy of an archaic set of values that, though no longer technically exists in Texas, is still exercised by judges.  And the scary part is that these judges have almost limitless power in deciding what is "best" for your children.

Here is where an experienced family law attorney can make all the difference for a father seeking a fair custody or child support order.  The lawyer is a key player not only in providing legal and emotional support, but in setting the overall tone of the case.  With the father's input, an experience attorney can decide which issues to raise in court and how to include the children.  The lawyer can offer impression about the judge's hot buttons and soft spots regarding what is best for children.  And most significantly, the lawyer can give special attention to the impact of any bias that may be held against the father or against the mother.

If you feel you need help or advice with a child custody or child support case in Harris or Galveston county, contact the Palmer Law Firm for a free consultation.  Call 832-819-DLAW(3529) or visit us at www.mydivorcefirm.com.  At the Palmer Law Firm, We Can't Protect Your Heart, But We Can Protect Your Rights.

Psychological Evaluations in Texas Child Custody Cases

Occasionally, the Texas family law attorney will need to consider the use of psychological testing and assessment in child custody cases.

One of the first things a Texas family law attorney must do in reviewing a psychological test is to consider the credentials of the tester. Although many other persons may involve themselves in assessment type activity (counselors, therapists, gurus), by law the only people who can call what they do "psychological testing" are licensed psychologists and psychiatrists.

There are five primary sources of authority for psychological testing in Texas custody cases. these are:

(1) Ethical Principals of Psychologists and Code of Conduct;

(2) Standards for Educational and Psychological Testing;

(3) Specialty Guidelines for Forensic Psychologists;

(4) Guidelines for Child Custody Evaluations in Divorce Proceedings;

(5) Rights and Responsibilities of Test Takers: Guidelines and Expectations.

A Texas family law attorney should review the extent to which the psychologist followed these sources.

Recently there have been more and more criticisms of the use of psychological testing. Faced with increased use of Daubert challenges, the courts have begun to limit or even bar psychological testimony. Some judges even routinely deny any request for child custody evaluations being done in the first place. However, this Daubert age backlash to the former judicial practice of blindly following the recommendations of mental health professionals pushes the pendulum too far in the other direction. Psychological tests are still completely valid and useful in Texas custody evaluations as long as they are used contextually.