The Duty to Protect Your Children

A parent has the right and the duty to protect his child and the child's future from harm. If you're involved in a custody dispute in Harris or Galveston County, Texas you must use the local family court system to assert this right and fulfill this obligation. A parent who becomes aware of dangerous behavior or damaging influences that threaten the children's physical safety or emotional well-being can ask the court to protect the children by removing them from the source of the immediate or potential danger. A court ordered award of sole custody or the severe restriction of visitation rights are the standard methods for ensuring children's safety. These actions may be taken if the court is shown clear and convincing evidence that the children are seriously endangered by parent’s lifestyle, or parents behavior, or the environment in which here it forces the child to live.

Documented cases of child abuse in any form meet the court systems serious endangerment standard. Physical, emotional, or sexual mistreatment of a child is child abuse.

"A parent who becomes aware of dangerous behavior or damaging influences ...can ask the court to protect the children by removing them from the source of the immediate or potential danger."

Physical abuse is any action that inflicts grave physical damage, even if the injury is temporary. Corporal punishment that causes bruising, bleeding, or burning is physical abuse. So is the denial of food, water, shelter, or medical treatment. Well the difference between acceptable physical discipline and physical abuse has never been defined in law, most courts and most parents know when the boundary between the two has been crossed.

Emotional abuse includes derogatory language and parental conduct calculated to destroy or seriously undermine a child's dignity and self-esteem. Constantly berating a child, humiliating a child in the presence of family, friends, or teachers, or isolating the child from the outside world for extended periods of time are examples of emotional abuse. Relentless insults or mockery are other forms of this destructive behavior.

The legal definition of sexual abuse encompasses virtually all actions involving a child intended to lead to the sexual gratification of either the child or a participating adult. While the most common forms of sexual abuse are outright sexual acts such as fondling, intercourse, oral copulation, this category of child abuse may also Include placing the child in sexually compromising positions, using the child to produce pornography, requiring the child to wear seductive clothing, and indulging in forms of physical discipline more commonly associated with adult sexuality than parental behavior. Whether the child consents to sexual activity or is forced to participate is irrelevant in determining if sexual mistreatment has occurred.

Neglect may also constitute serious endangerment courts have revoked custodial rights of parents who have left young children alone for hours or days parents whose primary meal planning function has been leaving paint chips within easy reach; Parents who fail to treat, or even notice, the serious physical or mental illnesses of a child ; And parents who have been unable or unwilling to provide a clean, warm room for their children to sleep in.

Elements of a custodial parent’s lifestyle may be judged dangerous, or potentially dangerous, to a child, even if the child is not directly involved in that lifestyle. And lifestyle that brings potentially harmful relationships into a child's life, for example can be considered to be dangerous enough to warrant removal of the child.

Source:  Father’s Rights by Jeffery M. Leving

Top 7 Questions To Ask When Taking Care of Kids During a Divorce

If you are divorcing or are recently divorced, it is vital that you keep your children's best interest in mind.  It is often easy to loose your bearings as you are caught in a whirlwind of legal activity and emotional distress which all divorces bring.  This turmoil can make it hard to determine if you are doing all you can do to for your child.  So here are the top seven questions you should ask yourself to make sure you are still being the best parent you can be during a divorce.

1.  Are you being there for your child?  You will be drained and you will want to withdraw into yourself during a divorce, but your children need to know that you are still there for them and you will continue to provide emotional support during this time.  Divorce is stressful on everyone and your child needs to know that you are there to answer their questions and help them process their painful feelings.  You do not need to be instantly available 24/7, and everyone needs some mental downtime, but you must make it a point to generally be there when your children need some answers, or just some hugs.

2.  Are you giving your kids needed encouragement and approval?  Kids of all ages seek out the encouragement and approval of their parents.  It is vital to their self esteem to know that you think of them often and are proud of them.  Particularly at a time when they are submerged in self doubt over the divorce, you have to show them in both expressed and subtle ways that you think they are great.  Be generous with your praise.  Carry their pictures in your wallet and their drawings on your desk.  Constantly stoke their self-esteem by praising them.  Now more than ever, they need to be assured that they are worthy of being loved.

3.  Are you treating your kids like people?  Your kids are unique individuals with their own personalities, and perspectives.  You need to be sensitive to their experience of the divorce and how they can be different from yours.  

4.  Are you trying to have a positive relationship with the other parent?  Even though you feel you would be better off having less contact with your ex, or soon to be ex, spouse, this may not be what is best for your kids.  Research has shown that children make the best recovery from divorce when both parents are actively involved in the children's life and the interaction is conflict free.

5.   Are you modeling to your kids how to handle stress?   Divorce is an extremely stressful time.  If you demonstrate your ability to handle the stress of divorce without resorting to becoming violent, verbally abuse, or using drugs or alcohol, you kids will know that it is ok if you occasionally express anger and frustration.  Kids need to see you handle stress without losing control.  They then won't be fearful when you get angry.   

6.  Are you maintaining family and community ties?  Chances are you kids are experiencing the loss of a full-time parent.  They should be allowed to find the comfort of familiar surroundings and support such as scout leaders, church leaders, friends and neighbors.  You may feel like you want to get away and start a new life from your old, but your children need the familiar ties of their community especially at this time.

7.  Are you making every effort to peacefully resolve issues with your ex, or soon to be ex, spouse?  Your kids will be less fearful and stressed if they see you and the other parent working cooperatively.  If they observe examples of flexibility, consideration and cooperation, in resolving parenting issues, they will be less fearful that the aftermath of the divorce will be a never-ending battle of wills- with them in the middle.

Divorce is one of the most painfully stressful times in anyone's lives - and even the most well meaning of parents can fall into a spiral of emotion where they forget to keep their children's best interest at the front of their attention.  When you find yourself in an emotional tailspin from divorce, ask yourself these seven questions to keep your perspective - and your focus on being the best parent you can to your children.